Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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