if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
