I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
