so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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