coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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