Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she looked like the before picture.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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