I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
thus making me awesome and them whores
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
