I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
