Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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