beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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