So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize