Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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