I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Someone signed my nipple.
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