so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
