Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
