Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
