Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
