I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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