I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
