For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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