If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize