is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
