So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
