I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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