You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
