u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
