i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
