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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?

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• (559): View more from California

  the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.

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• (408): View more from California

  who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.

  (360): View more from Washington

  Welcome to Bellingham.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Hi I love you will you be up for a while!

  (239): View more from Florida

  That exclamation point was a drunk decision

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.

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