I hate your face
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
