5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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