I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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