I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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