i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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