Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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