My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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