apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
