bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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