I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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