please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
