I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize