Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
