with your own penis?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
