Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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