he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
