either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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