Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
