it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
