one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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