i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
