You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
