Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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