Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize