I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
