if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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