Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
