Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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