3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
