Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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