she was so not down for the gang bang
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
