i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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