There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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