the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
