So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
