Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
