I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
