my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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