I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
