its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
