kristin has been a bad kristin
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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