would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize