Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you traded sex for a burrito?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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