weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
