I heard we made out
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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