Im at strip club and am horny
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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