Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
