Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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