and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
