I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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