I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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