Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize