Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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