4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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