Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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