she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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